Ever seen ANTS in a PORNO MOVIE? here be pix!

Ants in PornBack in the 80’s, the good old days, if a twelve year old wanted to get his hands on a porno movie, he had to steal one from the video shop, and so that’s what I did.

It was a smooth and sophisticated operation, porno spec. ops. Our mark was the local video shop, who still kept their cassettes in the boxes on the shelf but were yet to install those fan dangled alarms at the doorway.

These were the days on the cusp of Video Ezy style stores transient reign. Like the internet has crushed them, they crushed the local ma and pa video stores of the 80’s that ruled the rent-a-movie landscape, which was kinda gay cause it made it much harder for a kid to steal a good clean porno.

Ours was a two man operation, it was mission critical to obstruct the video clerk’s view of the dome mirror above him that offered a 360 degree view of the mission zone.  Recon Intel revealed the “DRAMA” Reference card section (what’s a computer?) to be directly beneath said dome mirror.

So I’d chill in the Sci-Fi section, right next to the pornos and when I heard my accomplice ask if they had  “Dirty Dancing” in at the moment, or “The Colour Purple” ( watch this if u wanna see Whoopi Goldberg, Danny Glover and Oprah get their Niggah on, and no it’s not racist, I’m just plugging our last post: https://moshpod.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/dem-moshpod-niggas/) I’d spring into action, pounce on the porno case that had caught my eye, pop that sucker open and dack that tape, the precious, like some little fat ninja.

If you didn’t know, “dacking” is the act of putting something in one’s underwear, their “dack”s. The hotbox of five finger bargains everywhere.

So anyway, having stuck to my first rule of never making a long story short –  This video cassette of Electric Blue No.24 was obtained through no small personal risk and served me very well in my teenage years. I can still quote large blocks of that quality dialogue.

So even though I long lost any ability to actually play video cassettes I kept this video for sentimental reasons, and this brings me to the point of this post.

Moshpodders may remember way back to Moshpod Ep.1 our very first podcast, Mind the Bug -Named and Inspired by my battle with invading flying ants looking for a new home.

Moshpod Podcast Ep.1 Mind the Bug

Detailed Ants in Porn

I documented my journey with these home invaders, from a place of fascination to disgust, and ultimately to a perpetrator of genocide. Along with a bunch of awesome bug related pods!

Turns out – I didn’t get em’ all! Cleaning up the moshdungeon, I came across this insult to humanity. Picked it up, instant ant bomb exploding in my hands, man I’m getting itchy just remembering it, so traumatic.

Not only had these little monsters colonised a small corner of my world, they raped my freaking 80’s porno! I gassed em, I gassed em hard.

Do you have a bug infestation story? Tell us how you exerted your dominance as the species currently residing at the top of the food chain…

Posted by Bang.

 

Posts and Pods linked to this post:

Dem Moshpod Niggas

Moshpod Ep1. Mind the Bug

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4 thoughts on “Ever seen ANTS in a PORNO MOVIE? here be pix!

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